A Blog Named Sue

NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY

I'm a bit busy right now, so I don't have time to give Sarah Palin's abrupt exit from the political stage the attention it deserves ... eh, who am I kidding? You can say all you need to say about that clown show in five minutes and still have time to talk about how bad Transformers 2 is.

But I'm not even going to bother with that. What I will do is direct you to the text of her resignation speech, which, believe me, reads even better than it sounded. Here are some highlights from the official text, released by the Governor's office:

Hi Alaska, I appreciate speaking directly TO you, the people I serve, as your Governor.

...

Alaska's mission - to contribute to America. We're strategic IN the world as the air crossroads OF the world, as a gatekeeper of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this - Alaska would be part of America's great destiny.

Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, AND oil and gas. It's energy! God gave us energy.

...

It's pretty insane - my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with THIS instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more "politics as usual," but THIS isn't what anyone had in mind for ALASKA.

If I have learned one thing: LIFE is about choices!

And one chooses how to react to circumstances. You can choose to engage in things that tear down, or build up. I choose to work very hard on a path for fruitfulness and productivity. I choose NOT to tear down and waste precious time; but to build UP this state and our country, and her industrious, generous, patriotic, free people!

...

         *((Gotta put First Things First))*

Again, that's the official text, so all that random capitalization and bizarre punctuation has been vetted and approved. Fantastic!

PS - when I heard a lot of people speculate that Palin's next step was going to be "suing that blogger from Alaska," I thought it was a joke. Nope! Apparently, she really is preparing to sue a blogger. The 2008 GOP nominee for Vice President of the United States of America wants to sue a blogger. Holy crap. Even Paris Hilton doesn't sue bloggers.

Iran

While the antics of Mark Sanford and Norm Coleman's belated concession have lately dominated the conversation here in the US, it should be noted that the situation in Iran is far from resolved. The street protests may have ended (or hopefully begun their evolution into whatever next stage they will take), but the Basij militias today have called for an investigation into opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi's role in the demonstrations. The Basij are a scary bunch, civilian volunteers who sign up to enforce morals codes, spy on their neighbors and, if ordered, beat them to death. Civilian militias of this kind are common in totalitarian states, one could say they are a necessary feature of them. In any case, they are very influential in Iran and they claim to have lost several of their number during the demonstrations.

Should their demands for an investigation of Mousavi result in action being taken against him we can expect more calls from the conservative pundits here in the US for Obama to "do something." What he should do, however, is unclear. Invade? With what army? Cut off diplomatic ties? Really? With country that has nuclear ambitions and a massive army that shares a border with a country we're currently occupying? Bomb them? Maybe. Nothing shows your solidarity with an oppressed nation's common folk like collateral damage. It's kind of funny how conservatives in the US claim to be all about realpolitik but they throw the "real" out the window at the first chance to wave a cruise missile at someone.

For the record, I support Mousavi, if for no other reason than he supports complete freedom of the press in Iran, something I think will do the Iranian people far more good than any help we can offer. But if you look at his platform, you realize this is not someone who considers the US a friend, or even sees any change in relations between Iran and the United States as likely:

"Before the Obama administration, an imminent attack on Iran was the headline of all American newspapers. However, it should be stressed that the US refrained from attacking Iran because of its fear of our nation and its resistance."

"The US has changed its tone. Starting relations with the US is not a taboo, should they practically change their stance."

"Iran is not a friend of the US, but America is an influential country in the world with great economic and military capabilities. It is right that we are a powerful nation, but our power should not lead us to act unreasonably. We can not face the US alone. "

He's not even prepared to give up their nuclear program:

"Regarding Iran's nuclear program, the country has a 'general policy'. With respect to that policy, all the achievements, approaches and progress that have been made should not be abandoned."

"There are two issues regarding our nuclear program: the first is the use of nuclear technology for peaceful purposes, which is in our national interests and thus cannot be abandoned. The second issue is what some countries say about possible diversions in our nuclear program. This is what we are ready to discuss with other countries. "

Mousavi is infintely preferable to Ahmindinehad, but let's not kid ourselves that he's ready for "democracy whiskey sexy."

It's not surprising that we're paying more attention to the electoral crisis in Iran than other, similar crises around the world, considering that they are major player in a volatile region where we have a lot of troops in harm's way. But we do have to offer up some consistency in our arguments. A democratically elected government in Honduras was just overthrown and nobody said "Boo." I take that back - a number of conservative pundits actually celebrated the coup, because they saw it as a setback to Hugo Chavez, with Charles Krauthammer going so far as to say of ousted Honduran President Zelaya, "Yes he was elected, but Hitler was as well, and Chávez also was elected." Talk like this isn't going to make us into the beacon of hope John McCain insists we were for the German citizens who took sledgehammers to the Berlin Wall (and the East German leaders who decided not to shoot them, or Gorbachev who decided not to roll the tanks in).

Although there is one thing we can do to make ourselves into a beacon of hope for the Iranian demonstrators now facing arrest (and worse) for their actions: we need to make sure shit like this never happens again. And it wouldn't hurt to round up the people who ordered it, too.

The Mel Cooley Index for Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Today, Mel Cooley is thinking, "Please, Sudarshan Pattnaik, whatever happens, don't pay tribute to me. Please."

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Two from Ectoplasmosis - first, tanning tattoos using vinyl stickers, although why you'd want a tan that looks like the apron Roseanne used to wear on her sitcom is beyond me:

Chris Tucker, in a Crack Den Comment thread, points us to pictures of a volcanic eruption taken from the International Space Station:

Next, Cthulhu, J-pop, and what looks like Carl Reiner. Wow.

And, finally, via Steve Simels, proof that Road Dahl really was the sick bastard you always suspected he was:

Who?

Fox is telling me that Rudy Giuliani is outraged over the situation in Iran.

They're not telling me why anyone should care what Giuliani thinks. Does he even have a job these days?

The Mel Cooley Index for Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Today, Mel Cooley is thinking, "Well, if we ever do elect a Republican president again, it may as well be one who disappears for days at a time."

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Via Coilhouse:

North Carolina artist busted for making art from construction barrels:

Via King Ed Ra, Philip Glass, arranged for banjo, tuba, and segway:

And, in case you haven't seen it, HIS SOUL IS STILL DANCING:

We're smoking that Danger Girl, we're smoking that Gen 13

These seem to be heady days for marijuana legalization advocates, with public support for their cause reaching all time highs. My advice: be careful what you wish for.

Oh, sure, it would be great if you didn't have to worry about doing hard time for possession of eight ounces - and even better to know you weren't supporting assholes like these. (Who shoots at park rangers? I mean, really.) But don't think for one second that getting baked is going to remain a casual weekend activity once it becomes a legal and lucrative cash crop. There will be all sorts of regulations on strength, cannabis content, etc. - and that will be before ADM and Monsanto roll out their genetically modified super-pot. The GM super-pot will probably suck, but it will have a massive marketing budget behind it and eventually we'll be treated to commercials like this, but with people waving bongs instead of beer bottles:

Of course, there will be a "localvore" pot movement, but for the bulk of consumers it will likely be the super-pot. I guess giving money to ADM and Monsanto is marginally better than giving it Mexican drug cartels, but only marginally. On the other hand, it will give them a reason to revive Bud Man:

And will as tenderly be led by the nose as asses are

In the wake of the murder of George Tiller and the murder of Stephen Tyrone Johns at the Holocaust Museum, it seems as if some of our nation's conservative luminaries have become a bit uncomfortable with the asses they've been leading. Too bad. You people wanted to be famous, you wanted to be influential, and you didn't seem to care too much about who you were influencing. And it paid off for you, richly. You aimed for the lowest common denominator and by gum you hit it. The people making you squirm right now are some the same people who made you stars - and as the late, lamented Molly Ivins famously said, "You got to dance with them what brung you." If you suspect your dance partners are planning on slipping a cat valium into your punch, well, it sucks to be you. Everyone knows you were "asking for it."

On the best of days I can't imagine what goes through the head of a conservative pundit, but lately I can't even imagine how fucked up it is in there.  What's it like knowing that a crazed murderer likes the cut of your jib? Now, I don't hold the Rush Limbaughs and Bill O'Reilly's of the world legally responsible for the actions of James Von Brunn, Richard Poplawski, Jim David Adkisson, or Scott Roeder (did I miss anyone?). These men are clearly disturbed - trying to prove the Holocaust didn't happen by killing jews is some pretty dubious reasoning, even for a delusional murderous Nazi geezer fuckhead like Von Brunn. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go along with their blackly hilarious attempts to distance themselves from them either, especially when they try to do so by attempting to paint unapologetic white supremacists as liberal Democrats.  Nope, sorry, conservative luminaries, these guys are all yours - and don't even bother trying to say "liberals are just as bad." When a liberal shoots up a Baptist mega-church with a copy of Al Franken's book in his pocket I'll listen; until then sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

But if, like Shepard Smith, the crazy is getting a little too crazy even for you, I will offer you this one glimmer of something I wouldn't quite call hope. This remarkably depressing post by Digby on the radical anti-abortion movement's efforts to turn the murder of George Tiller to their political advantage featured this tidbit:

Press conference 1 PM, Thursday, to announce details how Pro-life groups can derail Sotomayor, and root out hypocrisy in pro-life ranks. (Emphasis mine.)

The extremists get their first whiff of "success" and, right on schedule, start the purges. Actually, they're a bit early. They really should wait until they have some sort of power before the long knives come out, but these people always have been prone to delusions of grandeur. But on the plus side, all you wingnuts who are actively seeking to distance yourselves from the even nuttier wing of your movement have a purge to look forward to. Problem solved! You'll be off the hook. Just keep calling those neo-Nazis liberals!

New Short Fiction: The Ranch

When I first started this blog, my intention was to occasionally bitch about politics and mostly use it as a platform for various creative ventures I was tinkering with.

Oops.

Well, we do live in interesting times. Still, I'm not Atrios, I'm not Kos, hell, I'm not even this guy.  And as far as I can tell the world isn't getting any saner so I'm going to take a crack at using this site for its original intended purpose.

I hope you enjoy this. It's called The Ranch, and it's a story about the uncomfortably near future and the soldiers who came back but couldn't come home.

Download The Ranch

A Blog Named Sue Copyright Policy: feel free to download and distribute to all of your friends & family. Very free. Link to it from your blog even. BUT, if you're going to reproduce or distribute it in any way and charge money for it you must obtain my permission first. I mean it. I know who you are and I own a large leopard. I can be reached at either of the e-mail addresses on the sidebar. I check the yahoo account more frequently. Thanks.