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July 06, 2008

He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky

If I manage to endure this election season without showing up at the AP's offices with a goddamn rocket launcher it will be a miracle. Check out this tidbit from a recent story on Barack Obama:

Obama repeatedly referenced his religious faith in terms that would be familiar to white evangelicals as well as his black audience.

As I've written on many occasions before, it's been a hell of a long time since anyone could, with a straight face, consider me a Christian. But I was a Christian long enough to know that Jesus doesn't give a damn one way or the other about your skin color. And if I were still a Christian (with or without a rocket launcher) I'd be very, very concerned about what how this country's interpretation of Jesus' message has become so warped that it can be interpreted one way by people whose parents happened to be black and another way be people whose parents happened to be white.


No, seriously, WTF?!?!?!?

For some reason, YouTube considers this to be a related video to the vid I posted of my daughter chowing down on expensive, veterinarian recommended kibble.

I've got five bucks for the first person who can tell me why - because, frankly, I have no idea.

July 03, 2008

Things that make me want to eat my own brain

Actual stupid-ass headline from today's stupid-ass edition of US-stupid-ass-A Today:

Usatoday0703























I've got to hand it to USA Today - other news organizations, you know, like Fox, tried to spin the Colombia hostage rescue into some sort of PR coup for John McCain - but at least they had the common decency fellate the presumptive Republican nominee in their sidebar "analyses" of the story, where impressionable young minds were less likely to see it. USA Today? Right in the headline baby!

(For the record, the headline is incorrect - according to The Washington Post, McCain had already left Colombia when the rescue occurred.)

Nom nom nom.

Sksbrain












(Nicked brain pic from here. Buy one and scare your kids. Hat tip to el at The Crack Den for helping me track down links.)

July 02, 2008

The Mel Cooley Index for Wednesday, July 2, 2008

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Today, Mel Cooley is thinking, "Well, that settles it. I'm going out back to shoot at some food."

June 09, 2008

Downtown the young ones are growing

This story, about a teenager charged with tagging a 9/11 memorial mural in New York City, depressed the hell out of me. Not so much because there's a teenager out there clueless enough to think that tagging a memorial mural is a good idea, although that's depressing enough, but mostly because of a comment made by a firefighter who worked out of the same house as the firefighter commemorated on the mural. When interviewed by local cable outlet New York 1 before the tagger's arrest, he (correctly) surmised that the perpetrator was probably a "teenager," someone around nine or ten years old when the 9/11 attacks took place and therefore he probably had no idea what it was all really about.

That got me thinking about how much more aware I became between the ages of nine and seventeen, and that's when the abyss really opened up for me. For all intents and purposes, today's adolescents have come of age knowing nothing but post-9/11 America. Growing up in an age of anxiety is nothing new; I grew up during the height of the Cold War (and I've got the Nena songs on my iPod to prove it) and we actually had to watch and summarize The Day After as a school assignment. (Spoiler alert: Nuclear war sucks ass!) What bothers me is that so many things about post-9/11 America that have outraged many of us are simply the status quo for today's young people. The United States government has always had the ability to monitor your cell phone calls without a warrant. The government has always tracked the books you borrow from the library and the movies you rent from Blockbuster. The government has always been able to declare you an "enemy combatant" and hold you indefinitely without trial or access to counsel. There have always been extraordinary renditions. There has always been a Camp X-Ray at Guantanamo Bay.

The United States has always tortured.

I guess I'm lucky, inasmuch as I grew up in the lull between J. Edgar Hoover's COINTELPRO and today's Patriot Act. Those of you reading this who are old enough to have lived through both probably think I'm a bit naive, and it's a fair charge.  COINTELPRO, however, was ultimately shut down after its excesses were exposed. Our elected leaders stepped in and did their jobs. The Patriot Act continues along its merry way and one of our major party's presidential candidates has declared that he sees nothing wrong with warrantless wiretapping.

This is why accountability matters, and why measures designed to hold our elected leaders accountable when they abuse their power must never be "off the table." What is it like to come of age in a country where rights and freedoms that our leaders claim to be sacrosanct are, in fact, anything but? How will today's young people react - with anger? fear? cynicism? docility?

I know which reaction I'm hoping for, but I have no idea which one we're going to get.

June 06, 2008

But don't take my word for it ...

... take it from Sinead: FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!

Sineadrip

June 05, 2008

"I mean, are you gonna liberate us girls from male, white corporate oppression?"

I'm taking all of these stories about Clinton supporters defecting to the McCain camp with a huge grain of salt - I mean, the one I just linked to is in the The New York Sun, for heaven's sake. Both Clinton and Obama were pretty low on my list of dream candidates so I haven't really had a dog in this fight. As something of an outsider, then, the toxicity of the vitriol tossed back and forth between supporters of the two candidates has been simply mind-boggling to me. Then again, I'm a white guy - the President has always looked like me (except for Reagan - that fucker barely looked human) so I can't imagine what it's like to come this close to finally getting a President who looked like me and then not getting it. I do believe this stuff matters, by the way; I remember watching the first Antonio Banderas Zorro movie with a predominantly Latino audience and realizing that these kids had never, ever seen a movie hero who looked like them. Think about it: for the first time, the Latino guy wasn't a cocaine lord or lackey for a banana republic dictator. That's a heavy thing. Of course, his girlfriend was Welsh and his sage teacher was British but, hey, what are you gonna do?

I do realize this a crude analogy - we're talking about issues far more serious than Hollywood action heroes here - we're talking about wounds and greivances inflicted by this country's racist and sexist nature that go back for generations. But we're also talking about a potential John McCain presidency. It's not about Hillary any more. It can't be. Obama's going to have a hard enough time running against a white guy "war hero" who makes the likes of Tim Russert and Chris Matthews swoon in his presence.  Also, I don't see how voting for an eight hundred-year-old white male Republican advances the cause of feminism one bit, but again, maybe that's just me. Still, if you're a Hillary Clinton supporter who might be reading this and you're seriously considering jumping ship and voting for McCain, I have just six words for you:

"Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran ..."

May 01, 2008

See these eyes so green

Help me out here - why does my daughter insist on eating cat food?



Oh, and for those of you who don't speak Swedish - well, that's actually too bad, because My Lovely and Talented Wife Who Is Smarter Than Me™ is saying some really funny stuff there.

April 30, 2008

Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain

I came across something interesting in David Denby's review of Iron Man - it seems that at one point in the movie, Iron Man gets waterboarded:

In any case, the freelance fanatics, or whatever they are, waterboard Tony Stark, which, considering what some American interrogators and their surrogates have done to suspects recently, is enraging to watch. Such are the ways of pop: we cast our sins onto others. The complaint sounds a little wan, but it’s worth noting that, possibly, more Americans will see this dunderheaded fantasia on its opening weekend than have seen all the features and documentaries that have labored to show what’s happening in Iraq and on the home front.

I'm not sure Denby hasn't missed the point here; Jon Favreau, the film's director, is a pretty smart guy and I'm certain that if he decided to show Islamic extremists (or caricatures thereof) waterboarding an American billionaire arms dealer there's a reason for it - and I don't think it's because Favreau was rooting for Captain America during the Civil War story arc.

On the other hand, while I think it's a bit unfair to assume that the creative team behind Iron Man threw waterboarding in there simply to make the bad guys seem worse, Denby's point about Iron Man reaching a larger audience than, say, Standard Operating Procedure or Taxi to the Dark Side is a potentially valid one, given that they've decided to update Iron Man's origin story so that it now features scary brown people rather than scary yellow people. Is there a chance that certain less-informed moviegoers might have some of their negative racial stereotypes reinforced by the waterboarding sequence? Maybe. Does that mean Favreau shouldn't have included it? Well, maybe.

Pardon my equivocation, but I'm genetically unable to tell other artists what they should do with their work - which probably explains why David Denby is reviewing movies for The New Yorker and I'm reviewing his review. But if it were up to me, I'd go for it and waterboard as many superheroes as I could. You can't craft your work hoping the dumbest segment of your audience doesn't miss whatever point your trying to make; eventually you end up resenting your audience and once that happens your work starts to suck.  Someone who doesn't know that the United States is waterboarding prisoners is probably clueless enough to think that Barack Obama really is a terrorist sleeper agent - that viewer's opinion of Muslims isn't likely to get much lower. Also, as I've written before, most people don't really know what waterboarding entails. If this scene gets just a few people thinking a little bit more deeply about what's happening in America today, then I'm for it.

Besides, Iron Man is a tool. Never liked him anyway.

April 29, 2008

The Mel Cooley Index for Tuesday, April 29, 2008

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Today, Mel Cooley is thinking, "Well, I guess since you're not America's Mayor anymore, we can tell you how we really feel."