Mel Cooley agrees - this is probably the greatest public statement ever issued by a government official:
UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
Notice he specified man-eating badgers - the badgers will kill you, but they won't eat you.
(Found this in a comment thread at the Crack Den, but I don't know who originally posted it. ID yourself in comments so I can make a proper hat tip. Thanks.)