I've been seeing a lot of articles lately - like the one Eli discusses here - about how Condoleezza Rice is the voice of reason in the Bush bunker, the calm statesman struggling with Dick Cheney for control of the clueless cipher we call a president. See, Condi's the one we're all counting on to keep us from bombing Iran. Hooray Condi.
Good lord. If Condi "Mushroom Cloud" Rice is the voice of reason in the Bush bunker we are well and truly screwed. But I'm feeling magnanimous today and I'm willing to give this story the benefit of the doubt. So, Condi, if you're reading this (and I know she is - just like I know she's sending me messages through the TV. Dammit, Condi, this has to stop! I'm a married man!) I have just one suggestion for you: quit.
See, I remember how we all thought Colin Powell was the voice of reason in the Bush bunker and look how well that turned out. It must be something about the office of Secretary of State - we all assume that whoever holds it must be less crazy than Dick Cheney. But sure enough, in the end Powell went on the world stage and spun his tale of flatbed trucks of doooom. Granted, he's made some tentative suggestions that he might have fucked up just a little with that whole Iraq-will-destroy-us-all-thing, but I can't think of anyone who didn't greet that mini-mea culpa with a shrug and derisive snort of "too little, too late." Well, this is your chance Condi. Be the man Colin Powell never was. Quit.
If it's true, if you're the only one in the bunker keeping the bombers on the ground, then the single best thing you can do is get the hell out of there and get your face on to the TV. Start with your BFF Gwen Ifill and then work your way to the shallow end of the gene pool occupied by Hannity and the like. Tell your story. Cut support for an attack on Iran off at the knees. Make any politician who backs such an attack look like a tool of Dick Cheney, possibly the most loathed figure in American politics. Jesus, you're a diplomat, for God's sake - do you really think Bush is going to listen to you?
There are only two ways out of the Bush administration - you can go the way Richard Clarke did and still enjoy the respect of your peers or there's the Alberto Gonzales method. If it's true that you're the last sane one in the whole administration - and that is one huge goddamn if - you know what you need to do.